This is a sensitive subject, I thought long before I wrote about it. And the conclusion I reached is that it is something that NEEDS to be talked about, understood and debated. So, I decided that I will periodically post texts talking openly about this subject so hidden and so precious that it is Terianthropy.
A therianthrope (or therian) is someone who identifies himself as an animal. In very foul words "it is someone who was born in the wrong species". A person who was born in a human body but who is actually an animal inside. Some believe that this is due to reincarnation or misplaced souls, while others believe that they are cases of psychological nature or an abnormality in their neurological wiring. There are many theories as to why non-human identities occur.
In any case, Therian people are already born that way. I believe that the term terianthropy and its concepts have been slow to appear because it is not easy for someone to assume therian, even more so in a society where people are so intolerant of much smaller things. I speak from experience.
When I came out therian to family, friends and work, there was rejection, bad jokes, things that destroyed a little bit of my integrity. Not surprisingly, is society unable in the 21st century to accept different skin colors, ethnicities and sexualities, let alone the rest? That is why I believe that many Therians prefer to hide what they are or even suffocate what they are instead of going through all these situations. But guys, this is not healthy. It almost killed me.
Since my first breath of conscience (around 2 years old) I was sure that I did not belong to this species. I remember that my first impulses were to look at my body and be extremely upset when I didn't find my tail, my paws, my furs, I remember that I was desperate and that my first thought after that was "I want to die."
For a child who has barely started life to have this kind of thinking, you can be sure that there was something very very wrong with me. In the years to come I sought the answer to that, but the words of the adults were very harsh. "This is just in your head." So I kept all these feelings to myself, smothering them.
Do you want to know what those feelings were? Well, a Therian child is not like the others. Therian children have animalistic attitudes, they growl, bite, run around using their hands like paws, drink water with their tongues, prefer raw meat and eggs, walk on tiptoe, among other things... Of course this is not a rule, but it is the that usually happens. And it all becomes a joke in the eyes of parents, friends, relatives, acquaintances, etc ...
It looks funny? A child who is going through this series of conflicts, looks funny to you? It is not. It is cruel. And with each passing day, people showed less tolerance for these behaviors.
Well, adolescence arrives. Where everything just gets worse and more intense. Where again you try to talk to people, and again they make fun of you. Once again you close yourself off. This was the phase when I tried to really kill myself. My first suicide attempt failed, everything was ready, but at the time I didn't have the courage. Instead, I made it a habit to scourge myself. Watching the blood run down my skin gave me almost immediate relief, but for a short time. It was not a solution, it was just an escape valve.
I used art to work my pain. Which worked really well, and for years I almost forgot about it. I got married, left my relatives' house, and sank into a new abusive relationship so deeply that I forgot who I really was.
My existential pain was very well hidden to the point of making me believe that it did not exist. I behaved like an ordinary human. Those that are every macho man's dream. And with each step I took in the opposite direction of who I really was, the sicker my physical body became. And I speak really sick.
Every week I had a health problem, from a simple flu, to gastritis and thrombosis, among many others. It was like that for years. While I lived with my relatives, it happened a lot, but on a smaller scale, with the passing of the years things only got worse. New suicide attempts, new floggings, new illnesses, and me pushing myself deeper and deeper.
I thought I was mentally ill. I even went to psychologists and psychiatrists. Take medicine. Until one fine day, talking with some friends, I got to know the term Therianthropy and started to study about.
I finally understood that there were other people in the world who were going through the same thing as me. That they were like me. I went after these people, talked, understood, freed myself.
I was not sick. But it was killing me to deny my true nature. So I decided to assume what I was for the world and little by little things were happening. I got divorced. I left work that was so bad for me. I distanced myself from toxic people. I got married again, but this time, with the right person. And since then I have never been ill again. It is worth remembering that this was not overnight. It took almost 2 years of detoxification and self-discovery.
In addition to all this, I found my religiosity within totemic shamanism and Ásatrú. Which helped me even more to understand my condition and my position in the world. It is important to emphasize that it is not because you are Therian that you necessarily need to have a religion, but this was the path I decided to follow and it was very good for me.
Where do I want to go with this long text? Well, there are still many therians out there who are going through the same things that I went through or worse. I want to write more about this subject to help these people, at least shed some light, at least say “Hey! You are not alone, I understand your pain! ”
So this is the first of several texts on Terianthropy that I am going to write. A wolf hug for you!